Out of Control

My writing has slowed due to drawing a graphic novel entitled Highway.

Since there is only one of me, I’ve been concentrating on that to get it done as soon as possible.

One holiday after another, a birthday party, an urgent sizzle reel, and a broken-down car all hamper the graphic novels' advancement.

Just like you, we can’t control everything in our life.

Life gets in the way of our plans.

How far does your control extend?

What are the boundaries of what you believe you are in control of?

A person should know their limits.

Although some of us appear to ignore them.

Like I can’t control my family.

My 30-something children stopped listening to me when they realized I was human like them.

My wife doesn’t listen to me.

But that’s the secret to a good marriage.

Don’t listen too closely.

My friends sort of listen to me while I’m with them, but as soon as I leave, I know they are doing what they want to do.

As for strangers…

I get asked at Disneyland a lot where the restroom is… that’s because I wear all black and a sports jacket looking like security…

I don’t even listen to myself.

I tell myself I’m going to do this or that, and I generally do, but not on the schedule I thought I would.

Some of us just don’t realize we control nothing.

We’ve built up elaborate stories telling ourselves we are in control and that everyone should think and behave just like us.

Why?

Because we’re right and they’re wrong.

Fascinating, isn’t it?

They believe they are right and you are wrong.

Yet the history of truth is on our side.

When the false fog of control is lifted and time reveals the truth.

Our beliefs are the foundation of a compassionate, loving human society.

Like when we believe that racism is wrong.

When we believe that fascism is wrong.

When we believe that power for the sake of power is wrong.

We believe in justice.

We believe in freedom.

We believe in the brotherhood of mankind.

These things, these truths, are in our control.

We can exercise these truths, take control, or we can let them go.

I hear my wife calling me…

Love and peace to you.

Toby aka Daniel J. Frey

We Are Not Afraid

“We are not afraid” is the best lyrics to the song “We Shall Overcome.

Dr. Martin Luther King added those lyrics.

Living in fear is no way to live.

The only people who want you to live in fear are bullies.

That’s how they keep their psychological power over you.

What might be?

Always what might be and not what it is.

The opposition to fear and hate did not go away on November 5th.

You and I are here.

The truth…

The truth is on our side.

History is on our side.

Reality is on our side.

Fear has always concocted bizarre fantasies to keep people afraid.

“There be monsters here” was written on the edge of maps to keep people from wandering away from the control of kings.

Freedom from predetermination created by the will of a self-appointed monarchy…

That’s what America is.

Again, there have always been people who prefer to be taken care of instead of living free of fear.

That’s part of the fabric of humanity.

It has always been up to the adults in the world to help those who can only see darkness.

How?

By holding up the truth of love.

It’s a difficult light for many of our brothers and sisters to see.

Love is not understood, or we wouldn’t have to keep fighting the good fight.

In a world of limited resources, the natural thing to do is not to share.

But it ain’t the 8th Century anymore.

We live in a land of abundance.

But we still have that monster on the back of too many telling them not to share.

Not to trust.

Keep to yourself.

Mind your business.

Love tells us our business is the welfare of our fellow man.

It’s a heavy lift.

I know this.

You know this.

But we are not afraid.

The foundation of this nation is based upon the proportion that all people are created equal.

Too many Americans have had a hard time believing in equality.

They are trapped in a vicious cycle of hate created by the bullies who have their ears and hearts.

We all just lived through a plague that took the lives of millions.

We all just lived through an economy that collapsed.

We all didn’t see that we had come through it, and the world got better.

Some see the world as half-empty.

Some see the world half full.

We who see the world full of light are now obliged to reach back and let that light shine into the dark places.

Let us reach out and touch the hearts and minds of our fellow Americans and let them see there is a better way to live than in fear.

Demonstrating we are not afraid, this light will kindle curiosity.

Curiosity has always broken the chains of fear.

What if.

What if my life could be better?

We are not afraid.

Peace

Daniel J. Frey aka Toby

Precious Ignorance

When a person is willing to ignore the truth and accept fiction, they are afraid.

They will not respond to facts because they will have to face what keeps them trapped; they are more afraid of it than being wrong.

One of the craziest things the white race had persuaded itself to be true is that it is the majority.

At no time ever on this planet did the white race constitute the majority population.

The white race has always been a minority.

The reason behind the myth of their dominance, both mentally and in population size, is rooted in fear.

Fear of the unknown.

“There be monsters here,” at the edges of their maps.

Not rainbows and flowers or peace.

Monsters.

To the white European explorers, everyone they met was an animal… no soul… not human.

The people they found were good enough to take their wealth and have sex with but could not sit at the same table with for a meal.

They were to be pitied the non-white races.

That’s what purgatory was for.

All the non-white races would be told the truth of the son of God dying for them; they would be baptized, told wealth was a sin, their gold, silver, and jewels taken, and then executed, after which God would sort them out, each to their own worth.

Precious ignorance.

It’s a terrible thing, always living in fear.

It will make you paranoid.

But fear is a wall that you can hide behind.

You don’t have to participate.

Fear means you don’t have to deal with those people on the other side of your wall.

You don’t have to hear their cry.

You don’t have to see their pain.

You don’t have to feel.

Staying ignorant of what this world is all about is what humans do.

This is not a new story.

It repeats over and over.

The story is more important than the truth.

We all share the same boat in this world, but some passengers believe they have a golden ticket because of their race.

There is a lifeboat for them.

The rest of us in steerage will find it tough when the ship goes down.

Damn.

Damn us, they believe for not believing God has appointed them to rule the world.

That’s what Trump represents.

The last great white hope for them.

Appointed by God… not making that up, people.

Please take a look at what his supporters are saying to each other on social media.

He’ll make America great again because he will make it “White again.”

They believe the myth he peddles.

The truth is that’s not going to happen.

When the first white European explorer left to find what lay beyond the map's borders, it was the beginning of the world's uniting.

As the centuries passed, borders merged, and languages consolidated.

In the future, humanity will be one.

The bell of Freedom rings, calling for the past to go away and heralding the future's entrance.

The only monster left on the map is ignorance.

I write this as an invitation to gather together to walk boldly into that light of truth where all are equal.

If you can walk around your wall…

Let it go and be hope.

Peace

Toby aka Daniel J Frey

Fear of Freedom

Fear of Freedom

A great number of our decisions are not really our own but are suggested to us from the outside; we have succeeded in persuading ourselves that it is we who have made the decision, whereas we have actually conformed with expectations of others, driven by the fear of isolation and by more direct threats to our life, freedom, and comfort.”

                                             – Erich Fromm, Escape From Freedom

Freedom is a burden to some folk.

Freedom means participation.

Participation means doing the work of freedom.

Many want the reward but are too busy with themselves to cultivate freedom.

This fear of freedom goes by another name.

The Silent Majority.

Have you wondered why there have been no voices condemning the hate that is propagated by Trump and his associates?

The voices that used to tell the anarchists to stay at the back of the room and not talk.

That sound of silence is manifested by those who erected a neon god.

That neon god tells them their fear is justified.

That neon god feeds their bias, which perpetuates the hate, that grows the paranoia that others are responsible for the life they have.

That neon god wants to be the next president.

He promises a narrow definition of freedom.

Only to those that worship at his feet telling him he is a man of consequence.

There are many kinds of people of consequence.

It is an absurd ego that says there is only one path to greatness.

Freedom is a burden.

Freedom it turns out is not free.

You can’t expect strawberries if you never plant them.

You can’t expect freedom if don’t speak up.

How can I speak up?

Vote.

Freedom’s ally is each of us who takes that trip to the voting booth and lets our voice be heard by making our mark next to the person we want to represent us.

Silence is not golden.

That’s a lie.

Silence is the cruel dictator who silences the voices of freedom.

Silences them one by one till there is none.

Freedom needs you.

Let freedom ring.

Toby aka Daniel J Frey

Stop Talking

Observation…

Why is it that our conservative brothers and sisters feel the need to tell us who they are constantly?

Telling us even if we already know…

They love America.

They are Christian.

They are heterosexual.

They are pro-second Amendment.

They are pro-life.

They are pro-billionaire.

They are pro-Putin.

They are pro-MAGA.

They are pro-Trump.

They are anti-immigrant.

They are anti-Islamic.

They are anti-brown people.

They are anti-gay.

They are anti-green.

I grew up in and around a very conservative far-right Christian family and friends, and I have first-hand experience being told over and over again as if I’m an idiot.

As if I’m an idiot who can’t remember you don’t like to drive in bad neighborhoods.

You don’t like to send your kids to schools that aren’t white.

You don’t like to live next to people who don’t go to your church.

Over and over and over again.

This is rant!

There is only so many times I can hear in 63 years on this planet that Jesus loves me and died for my sins.

I get it!

I understand the story.

I don’t need it repeated to me over and over as if I have no long term memory.

I saw Old Yeller once.

I don’t need to see it again.

I get it.

I get it you don’t like the change you see in the world.

I understand you don’t like to share.

You want everyone to know how important you are.

How you’re better than everyone else.

I know you think that it’s true.

Believe me, I know you think you are granted a special dispensation to rule the world because you’re white.

I can hear you.

Stop talking.

Listen…

Listen to what you sound like?

Listen to the venom.

Listen to the hate.

Listen to the driver in your life called anger.

Consider… instead of talking to me, start talking to yourself.

Start telling yourself you can be loved.

Start telling yourself you can be forgiven.

Start letting yourself just be.

Let go.

And then…

Come join us where the world is full of joy.

Where we don’t have to tell each other we already know.

Peace

Toby aka Daniel J. Frey

Changes

Since the beginning, humanity has used every ounce of strength in its imagination in wanting to believe that change doesn’t happen.

Cave paintings, scrolls, religion, books, plays, philosophy, photography, film, radio, TV, politics, and war all have espoused a belief that change shouldn’t and can’t happen.

Big problem, though…

The fundamental property of this universe we all live in is change.

Everything from galaxies to microbes all change.

Evolve or…

Die.

So, anyone or anything trying to stop change from happening is on the losing side of the universe.

Trying to stop change from happening just can’t win.

It’s called impossible.

Now, understandably, change is not always welcome.

None of us want to get old.

None of us want to lose the people, the things we love.

But their all going to change.

It’s human not to want things to change.

It’s fundamental to the origins of humanity to want things to be the same.

Repeatable.

Established.

Regular.

Predictable.

That way, we all can make plans and not have them ruined by a rainstorm stopping our picnic.

But… shit happens.

So, if you think about it, and it’s obvious not many people do, why do we invest our time, our money, our blood, sweat, and tears into ideas that try to prevent change?

Fear.

Fear is the spider at the center of the web.

Change represents unpredictable outcomes.

What if people are free?

What if people can marry who they want?

What if people can be who they are?

What if people want to be equal?

What if people want to be loved?

All these and more represent a community and the individual to take a chance that change will not affect their picnic.

Yeah, so it was okay to free black people from slavery as long as no one was inconvenienced.

It was all right to give women the right to vote because most women couldn’t be bothered.

It was fair to desegregate schools and communities because we weren’t going to fund those schools and communities after.

My point is that change, for better or worse, will continue to happen, but not as expected.

With change there will always be outcomes that are not predictable.

That’s what change is.

That’s why I’m trying to get the attention of my conservative brothers and sisters and help them put into perspective their fear of change.

When gays got the right to marry, did frogs rain out of the sky?

When blacks got to vote, there were no more white elected officials, right?

When women entered the workforce, no man was ever hired again, correct?

When change happens, will things be different?

Yes, they will be different.

And that’s the beauty of change.

Where once there was a dead, dry seed, once planted, from that seed grows a tree under which the children and the children’s children of the planter will live, love, and know peace.

Change is gonna come…

Peace

Daniel J. Frey aka Toby